Top 1 Side-Splitting One Liners: Laugh ’til #1 tears

1. “I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy-saving mode.”
2. “I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.”
3. “I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.”
4. “I don’t need a hairstylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.”
5. “I’m not clumsy, it’s just the floor hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the wall gets in my way.”
Once there was a man who walked into a bar and asked for a glass of H2O. The bartender gave him the water, and the man drank it quickly and left. The next man walked in and asked for a glass of H2O too, but instead of drinking it, he threw it in the bartender’s face. The bartender, confused, asked the man why he did that. The man replied, “I wanted to see if you’d give me a glass of H2O too.”
#funny
#hilarious
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#instafun
#silly
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#jokesfordays